Last month we talked about how changing your thoughts can help change your marriage. This month, we want to dig deeper into how we can catch our negative thoughts before they hurt ourselves and others, and what it looks like to truly transform our thinking!

AUDIO:

TRANSCRIPT: How-to-Change-Your-Thinking-Final.pdf

Talk About It:

How is our communication going? Are we taking the time to communicate effectively with one another and share our hurts or desires? If not, how can we create a safe space for dialogue in our everyday lives?

Is our marriage currently experiencing death or life and peace? Why?

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Apologizing is a powerful way to rebuild bridges and restore communication. If you’ve been convicted of a red flag or bad habit that has been causing strain in your marriage, take some time to apologize now. I’m sorry for______________. I know it hurt you this way _______________________. Will you please forgive me?

Think About It:

Do I “should” all over my spouse?

Am I hoarding my hurts, desires or needs instead of communicating them with my spouse?

Do I minimize my spouse’s needs? Am I minimizing my own?

Mark and Jill mentioned 10 red flags that show up in our thinking. Which one tends to show up most often in my thinking? How can I begin to change my language?

Notes and Quotes:

Red Flags in Your Thinking

I deserve…

I want…

I hate…

I do this better…

He/She can’t ever get it right…

I’m better…

It’s unfair…

I’m tired of…

This should…

I/He/She should…

Moving our thoughts in the right direction turns shame into surrender, grumbling into gratefulness, criticism into appreciation, hoarding hurts into communicating, minimizing into listening, demanding into delighting, comparing into accepting, and pride into humility.

Romans 8:6 (NLT)-“So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace.”

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