When was the last time you wrote a love letter to each other? This date puts pen to paper, allowing you to communicate the things you sometimes think but rarely say.

First, set a date for your love letter exchange. This helps you both know what timeframe you’re working with. Then get yourself ready for this date. Sit down and list out all the things you appreciate about your spouse. Ask God to help you see traits and actions you probably take for granted much of the time.

Once you have a list, begin to work those into a letter. When you share something you appreciate about your spouse, make sure and elaborate on why that makes a difference to you. Does he do something that reduces your workload?

Is she attentive to details that you don’t have to worry about?

Make as many “you are” statements that you can. The world is a place where we’re too often torn down and told what we don’t do well. We need to hear affirming statements like:

You are loyal.

You are helpful.

You are dependable.

You are responsible.

You are trustworthy.

You’re so capable.

You are steady.

You are sexy.

You are beautiful.

After each of those statements give an example of a time when he or she exhibited that trait and what a difference it made to you or what you see in them when you say that.

Once your letter is written, bring it with you to your date. You can go out to eat and share over dinner, or you can pack a picnic and head to a park. Or food doesn’t have to be involved at all, just take a blanket to the park or sit out on your porch where you can enjoy each other’s company and share your letters with one another.

Have one of you go first. Read the letter to your spouse. Try to maintain eye contact off and on as you read.

After you’ve both read the letter to each other, exchange letters so your can have each other’s words in writing. At some point, enjoy a one-minute hug—just standing and holding each other for a minute.

Print this date out: The-Love-Letter-Date-1.pdf