Have you ever heard of a conversational intelligence coach? Well there is such a thing and this Dive Deep Interview is an interview with Patti Reed who is a conversational intelligence coach! Patti has so much wisdom that helps us have better conversations in marriage!
Talk about it:
One takeaway for me from this conversations was __________________________________.
As I listened I felt this way _____________________________.
I can see how our marriage would be strengthened if we _______________________________.
Think about it:
Do I communicate in a way that builds trust or undermines trust?
Do I tell, yell or sell when I need to ask, listen, or respond?
Notes and Quotes
We are often unaware of our harsh or hurtful communication. Words can trigger pain! Tone matters and can trigger listening or shutting down!
Do-overs are a way to redeliver our communication in a healthy way.
Our differences play so strongly into our perspectives.
Our tendency is in marital communication is to tell, yell and sell. It is best to learn to ask, listen and respond.
A powerful life-changing phrase regarding communication is “tell me more about that!”
We have to slow down…in our thinking…our responding…and learn to reflect what we are hearing, for the purpose of understanding our spouse’s heart.
Galatians 5:22-23 ESV But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control…
Philippians 4:8 ESV Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
Say This and Not That:
Not This: I can’t believe you can’t figure this out!
Say This: Let’s talk about creative ways to solve this problem.
Not This: Well, that wasn’t good enough!
Say this: I don’t have all of the answers and I’d really like to have your perspective on this.
Not This: What in the world are you thinking?
Say This: Would you be willing to share your thoughts? I’d love to hear and to know what you are thinking.
Face to Face “PALS”:
P-Prep the conversation
A-Ask open-ended questions, for more, etc.
L-Listen to understand to connect
S-Support You don’t have to agree, but how can you support?
Patti’s book: https://amzn.to/3N4LmV4