Conflict is one of the hardest things to navigate in a marriage. Because many of us weren’t trained to deal with it in a healthy way, we struggle to work through it together as a couple. In this Dive Deep Interview, Bob and Roxann Andersen, authors of The Marriage Dance, talk us through 5 steps to managing conflict and coming out better on the other side!


TRANSCRIPT: Bob-and-Roxann-Andersen.pdf

Talk About It:

During moments of conflict, do we see each other as teammates working together to solve the problem, or as enemies trying to win a battle?

Do we often step on each other’s toes when navigating the marriage dance? What can we do to remind ourselves of the 5 steps Bob and Roxann shared during times of conflict?

Of the five steps the Andersen’s talked about, which do we need to be better at?

Challenge: Plan a date night where the two of you can take dance lessons together. As you dance, along with enjoying each other’s company, see if you can find any marriage parallels and discuss them together on the way home!


Think About It:

What is my conflict style? Do I tend to be an avoider or an arguer?

Of the five steps the Andersen’s talked about, which do I need to be better at?

Do I truly listen to my spouse and try to understand their interest and position?


Notes and Quotes:

Bob and Roxanne’s 5 steps to resolving conflict:

  1. Pinpoint the problem.
  2. Calm the emotions.
  3. Listen with your head and your heart.
  4. Make a proposal.
  5. Keep the relationship.

“Let me give you grace this time because I know next time it will be my turn.” Bob Andersen

Remember: The position of the follower is not one of weakness, but of incredible strength. Both positions are important, they are just different!

You can request the free booklet that’s mentioned in this interview here:

How We Love by Milan and Kay Yerkovich