Differences. They both endear us to one another and drive us crazy.  But have you  ever considered how your “smarts” are different?  Dr. Kathy Koch has spent a lifetime teaching parents how to identify and value the different ways their kids are smart.  Her teaching, however, has HUGE implications for marriage!

We loved doing this interview and we believe you’ll enjoy it too!

You might want to first hop over and take the 8 Great Smarts quiz. This is usually only available to folks who buy the 8 Great Smarts book (there’s a code in the back of the book). However, Dr. Kathy graciously offered it to NMPDN members as a gift!  You can take the assessment here by using the code: AHA3374







The Eight Great Smarts

Word Smart
Logic Smart
Picture Smart
Music Smart
Body Smart
Nature Smart
People Smart
Self Smart

Talk About It

Take the online quiz or answer the questions below to discover your smarts and then discuss the results after hearing Dr. Kathy share about them.

You can also ask yourself:

What do you do in your spare time?

What do you spend your money on?

What gets you into trouble?

What do you talk about and what questions do you ask?

Are we characterized by valuing each other’s different smarts?

Did you experience an ah-ha moment listening to this interview?

Are there any of your smarts that maybe weren’t allowed to mature as a child?

Is there a rhythm of compromise we need to find with our smarts?

Dr. Kathy says, “we crave quiet, peace, privacy, and space.” Is there any frustration or anxiety in our marriage because of those cravings?”

Is there ever a time when we’re misunderstanding each other due to our different smarts?

Are we assigning the wrong meaning to each other’s actions or non-verbal communication?

Would this be a good book for us to read together?


Quotes to think or talk about:

Differences are different. Differences aren’t wrong. (Dr. Kathy)

Differences aren’t deficiencies. (Mark and Jill Savage)

Fall in love with the person. Don’t fall in love with love. (Dr. Kathy)

In relationships we have the capacity to paralyze another person’s intelligence by the way we react or the way we don’t react.  (Dr. Kathy)

Traditional schooling is easier for word smart and logic smart people. (Dr. Kathy)

We exhaust ourselves trying to be what other people have determined we are or what culture mandates, but it’s very freeing to be ourselves. (Mark Savage)

You know who you are, you understand your spouse, and you choose to honor. (Dr. Kathy)


Think About It

Are you celebrating your spouse for who they are, not for what they do?

Dr. Kathy said, “Anything overdone, welldone, is badly done.” Is your use of your smarts affecting others negatively in any way?

Is your spouse a problem you’re trying to solve?