Greg and Erin Smalley have been married for 26 years, and are the authors of over 20 books, including Crazy Little Thing Called Marriage . They work together for Focus on the Family in the Marriage and Family Formation department, and have a passion for helping couples navigate the ups and downs of this exciting adventure called marriage!

We had such a great time learning from this humorous couple, and we know that you will as well!


TRANSCRIPT:  Erin-and-Greg-Smalley-Interview.pdf

Talk About It:

  • What’s God’s plan for us? What is God calling us to do together?
  • Are we allowing technology to get in the way of intimacy in any way? If so, what changes do we need to make?
  • Greg and Erin talked about having a shared spiritual relationship. What can we do to increase spiritual oneness? Are we taking the time to pray together? When could we do that?

Think About It:

  • In what way am I selfish in my relationship with my spouse?
  • Am I buying into any of the marriage scams that Greg and Erin talked about? Where do I need to adjust my thinking?
  • What gives me rest? What gives me life? How can I implement these things more regularly into my schedule so that I can ultimately give more to my family?

Quotes and Notes:

“Our Heavenly Father has so thoroughly and completely loved us, that I really don’t have to spend time, effort, and energy getting my wife to love me, because He’s doing that.” Greg Smalley

“Once we receive God’s love, then we have the ability to pour it out.” Jill Savage

“Marriage is only as healthy as each of the individual components.” Erin Smalley

“When I’m a better me, we’re a better we.” Jill Savage (this quote comes from our book No More Perfect Marriages.)

Three Practical Ways To Keep Your Marriage Fresh:

  1. The 10-Minute Daily Pause: Take 10 minutes a day to explore the inner life of your spouse. Ask intentional questions like: How was your day today? What has God been teaching you lately? How is your relationship with ___________ going? For more examples of heart-level questions to ask your spouse, click here:  Heart-Level-Questions.pdf
  2. The Weekly Date: Once a week, spend some time together outside of the house! This doesn’t have to be expensive. Simply find something that you both enjoy doing, and have fun!  (Hint: put a regular day/time on the calendar—make an appointment with your marriage and then keep it a priority!)
  3. The Annual Adventure: Plan a vacation getaway once a year just for the two of you!


Proverbs 13:10- “Where there is strife, there is pride, but wisdom is found in those who take advice.”

Philippians 2:3- “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,”

Mark 12:30-31- “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”

1 John 4:11- “Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” (ESV)

*All Scriptures are in the NIV version unless otherwise noted.