The Marriage Knot is the book our Dive Deep Interview guests Ron and Jody Zappia wrote.  Their passion is to help couples identify the choices they need to make to keep the knot tight. You’ll learn so much from this interview! We did!


TRANSCRIPT: (Available 4.17.19)


Is there any way that “we’re good on the weekends but not so good with the day to day?” How? Why?

Is God in the center of our marriage? What’s one next step we can take to strengthen that?

Is there anyplace where trust needs to be rebuilt in our relationship? (Consistent (or changed) behavior over time = Trust)

Where are we on the marriage triangle? Are we both growing closer to God and therefore closer to each other?

Do we need a code word like “4:29” that helps us keep our communication respectful?

How are we doing at these three types of dates:

Date Night once a week
Date Day once a month
Date Weekend once a year


There’s always two people involved in a relationship and we both bring sin to the table. What do I need to own? What am I bringing in an unhealthy way?

Am I loving and forgiving well?

What do I need to trust God for?


“We can talk about the mess your marriage is in or we can talk about the forgiveness available in Christ.” Ron Zappia

“The crevice can become a crack which can become a canyon pretty quickly.” Ron Zappia

“The knot will loosen if we don’t make these choices over and over again.” Ron Zappia

“The counselor did not let me off the hook.” Jody Zappia

“The ground is even at the foot of the cross.” Jody Zappia

Changed Behavior over Time = TRUST

“Forgiveness and trust are not the same thing.” Jody Zappia

“A good marriage is two good forgivers.” Ruth Graham

Words to cut out, words to change out, and words to call out.

Words to cut out (Eph 4:29) = swearing, name-calling, corrupt communication
Word to change out = change out “always” and “never”
Words to call out=”You’re on thin ice here.” Code word: 4:29

The average married couple only communicates four minutes a day/27 minutes a week.

Date Night once a week
Date Day once a month
Date Weekend once a year

7 Choices That Keep Couples Together:
1. Choose to grow spiritually
2. Choose to love unconditionally
3.Choose to serve sacrificially
4. Choose to please regularly
5. Choose to persevere persistently
6.Choose to communicate respectfully
7.Choose to bless abundantly