Too often we put our spouse on the defensive simply by how we approach them. We have to learn how to invite, not indict. In this Double Date with Mark and Jill, you’ll learn the skills to move from indicting (accusing) your spouse to inviting them into growth and conversation.
Talk About It
In your home of origin, was there more indicting or inviting?
Do you feel I indict or invite more often? (Don’t be defensive–simply say, “Thank you for the feedback.”)
Think About It
Am I making accusations or requests?
Am I believing the best in my spouse?
Am I curious? Is there another thing I can attribute this to?
Notes and Quotes
Stop indicting. Start inviting.
Learn to make requests, not complaints.
Stay away from “you” statements as well as “always” and “never.”
We need to believe the best and not accuse.
Secrets of Sex and Marriage by Shaunti Feldhahn and Dr. Michael Sytsma
Ask yourself, “Is this a bad skill or this a bad heart?”
Be curious.
