What differences are we still tripping over? What part of our upbringing is still complicating our relationship? These are the questions we tackle in this Double Date with Mark and Jill video and discussion!

AUDIO:

TRANSCRIPT:

Junk-in-the-Trunk.doc

Talk About It

What is one thing you appreciate about me that’s different from you?

What kind of unrealistic expectations are we each still bringing to our marriage? (HINT: Where do we experience consistent conflict? That’s usually a clue to possible unrealistic expectations.)

What “junk in the trunk” did you bring into your marriage from your home internship? What part of each of our upbringing was helpful for our adult life and what part was not helpful? (think about conflict, communication, sex, finances, prioritizing marriage, etc)

Think About It

Where do I have unrealistic expectations that I need to replace with realistic expectations?

What causes frustration with my spouse? (HINT: this is likely where there is an unrealistic expectation!)

Where do I need to untangle myself emotionally from my upbringing? Is this something I should deal with or seek out counseling for?

Is there any place where I need to transform my mind and push my thinking in a different direction?

Notes and Quotes

“You have to be willing to do the hard emotional work.”  Jill Savage

“If we don’t replace the old habits from our upbringing with something new we’ll likely repeat our own upbringing in our marriage (even if we swore we wouldn’t).” Mark Savage

If you want to dig in more, read No More Perfect Marriages: Introduction and Chapter 1