Feb 11, 2026
Many of us say we want to make our marriage a priority – but our calendars can quickly fill up with other things, leaving us disconnected and frustrated. In this Double Date session, we are exploring some practical ways to make your marriage a priority.
Think About It
- How will it feel to have scheduled date nights on our calendar?
- Have we already been making decisions in advance? Is this an area where we can be more intentional?
Talk About It
- What is a good day of the week for us to have a date? Will we have a date night weekly, twice a month, or monthly?
- What day of the week should we set aside some time to do something from No More Perfect Date Night?
Notes and Quotes
Track on your calendar how well your date night plan is working, so that you can see if you need to pick a different day of the week or time of day.
One of the biggest difference makers: making decisions in advance. Think about the rhythms you want to put in place, like date night every week or every other week, or monthly – then put it on the calendar for the entire year. Even if one date doesn’t work, you’ll be more likely to reschedule instead of just skipping it!
Putting those rhythms in place makes your marriage a priority.
We also encourage you as a Date Night subscriber to set aside one time per week to do something in Date Night. Watch a video and talk about it, or try one of the dates; and if you do one of the dates, share a picture with us!
Feb 4, 2026
Do you think you might have come into marriage with some incorrect assumptions about sex? If so, you are not alone! In this Double Date with Mark and Jill, we want to share six words that can really make a difference in enjoying the sexual relationship in marriage. Watch the video below to check out our conversation.
Think About It
- What factors in our marriage might make it important for us to think outside the box with our sexual relationship? (Health issues or other factors)
- Do I usually experience more initiating desire, or receptive desire?
Talk About It
- What was surprising about this video? Is there anything that is new information for us?
- What steps can we take to support each other better and communicate with compassion?
Notes and Quotes
First two words: Intercourse and Outercourse. We need to broaden our perspective; sex is the giving and receiving of pleasure with one another. We can embrace a wide range of possibilities, especially as we get older.
The other four words: Initiating Desire and Receptive Desire. Initiating desire happens on the male side more than the female – not always, but usually. Porn communicates the false narrative that women always have the initiating desire, which is one of the reasons that porn is so destructive. It can lead to resentment and bitterness.
Receptive desire – sometimes called responsive desire because the body will not at first feel the physical excitement, but it will eventually “wake up.”
Scheduling sex can help make it so that the spouse with the initiating desire is not the one who initiates the majority of the time. We can agree on a set schedule so that we can both show up and be prepared.
When we misunderstand where our spouse is coming from, we can assign untrue meaning.
Jan 27, 2026
We are starting a new series of “Double Date with Mark and Jill” videos. This is the first video in our Great Sexpectations 2.0 Series! Watch the video below to check out our conversation. We are going to focus on one common negative message about sex that is common for men, and one that is common for women, and show how we can “flip the script” on those messages. We want to encourage you to think about what you think about!
Think About It
- When have I let my thoughts about my spouse follow the “flesh-led” path?
- What factors do I need to take into consideration and show compassion toward my spouse? Season of life, tired or stressed, physical issues, hormones, etc.?
Talk About It
- How can we set our minds more on God’s truth?
- How can we become more curious with each other (not furious)?
- Ask each other: What can I do to make sex easier for us?
Notes and Quotes
Our primary sex organ is between our ears.
Flipping the script: moving from a “flesh-led” thought to a “Spirit-let” thought. We have the power to choose!
Think Þ Feel Þ Believe Þ Do Þ Result
Romans 12:2: “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”
2 Corinthians 10:5: “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”
Romans 8:5-6: “For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.”
We can set our minds on the Truth.
Flesh:
- Lies, false messages
- What we want
- Emotionally led
Spirit:
- Unchanging truth
- Decision led
Men want to have sex to feel connected. Women want to feel connected to have sex.
Resources:
Mark & Jill’s Book Is There Really Sex After Kids?
Authentic Intimacy – Dr. Juli Slattery’s Ministry
Jan 27, 2026
This week in our Double Date with Mark and Jill, we are talking about how “sex begins in the kitchen.” This is the second video in our Great Sexpectations 2.0 Series. We want to talk about what needs to be happening outside the bedroom so that it paves the way for us inside the bedroom! Our physical connection begins with emotional connection. Watch the video below to check out our conversation.
Talk About It
- Ask each other: What could I do to make our relationship more emotionally safe for you? (Just listen to understand)
- (For those with kids) What are some ways that we can move toward being more marriage-centered instead of child-centered in our relationship?
Think About It
- On a normal day, does my attitude invite my partner, or shut the door on him/her?
- How am I providing emotional safety to my spouse? Is there something I can do to improve in this area?
- Do I seek to understand and listen well?
- Do I respect my partner? Do I respect their yes and no?
- Do I sulk or punish when I’m disappointed?
- Do I value emotions? Am I more of a thinker or a feeler? Which way is my spouse wired?
- Do I value both physical and emotional connection?
- Can I apologize when my actions impact my partner? (Addressing the impact, not the intent)
Notes and Quotes
Dr. Kevin Leman’s Book: Sex Begins in the Kitchen
There are two things that really “make it or break it” in marriage – and both of those things happen outside the bedroom. If those factors are in a good place outside the bedroom, there’s a good chance that things are good inside the bedroom.
Serving your spouse, emotionally connecting with your spouse, serves as a form of foreplay.
We do not want sex in our marriage to become transactional.
The two factors that pave the way: attitude and safety. (*We are assuming you are physically safe! The kind of safety we are talking about here is emotional safety).
We need to check our hearts – attitudes to be aware of: Resentful, critical, dismissive, defensive
Are we letting our thoughts be on the “flesh” side, which leads to death, or the “Spirit” side, which leads to life and peace?
If you are having trouble thinking positively about your spouse, spend some time intentionally thinking about what God says about them.
An attitude of anger in us = our spouse disconnecting, feeling like they have to walk on eggshells. This is emotionally unsafe.
It is emotionally unsafe if:
- We are not good listeners
- We get angry when our spouse doesn’t want to do what we want to do
- We sulk or punish with our anger
- We want to connect in the bedroom without connecting outside the bedroom
- We won’t own our own “stuff” and apologize when our actions have affected our spouse
A huge step in the right direction for those who are a little more “emotionally constipated” – listen to your spouse and practice reflecting back what they say in your conversations. The partner who is on the other side who has now been listened to can recognize – your partner just took some huge steps in emotional intimacy just by listening well!
Nov 6, 2025
When we are getting to know our spouse, we are not learning about just that one person; we will learn about their family, too. Did you know what you were “getting into” when you got married, or were you surprised? In this Double Date session, we are talking about something all of us will experience in some way – handling relationships with our in-laws and extended family.
Notes and Quotes
When we get married, we have to shift our loyalty from our parents – to our partner.
It’s important for us to know the proper priority. Our spouse and our own family are in 1st place, our family of origin is in 2nd place. We can still compromise and figure out ways to spend time with family and celebrate holidays together, but it’s helpful to keep those priorities in perspective.
We will want to express our boundaries to our families with reassurance and compassion. There will still be disappointment – and that’s ok.
A “secure connector” can tell somebody, “No,” and be ok if they get a negative reaction – but many of us are “pleasers.”
We do not have to do what our parents want us to do in order to honor them. The origin of the word for honoring your parents – means to be honest with them. So we are honoring our parents by being honest and clear with them.
If you have a difficult extended family environment, make decisions ahead of time about how much time you’ll spend and if there are factors that may make you change your plan in the moment.
Another boundary that is very important: husbands and wives protect each other and don’t let extended family speak negatively to or about our spouse. If that happens, we draw a firm boundary.
Each person takes responsibility for addressing issues with their own family.
