Too often we put our spouse on the defensive simply by how we approach them. We have to learn how to invite, not indict. In this Double Date with Mark and Jill, you’ll learn the skills to move from indicting (accusing) your spouse to inviting them into growth and conversation.
Talk About It
In your home of origin, was there more indicting or inviting?
Do you feel I indict or invite more often? (Don’t be defensive–simply say, “Thank you for the feedback.”)
Think About It
Am I making accusations or requests?
Am I believing the best in my spouse?
Am I curious? Is there another thing I can attribute this to?
Notes and Quotes
Stop indicting. Start inviting.
Learn to make requests, not complaints.
Stay away from “you” statements as well as “always” and “never.”
Love perseveres. It sticks. It hangs on. This is where “for better or for worse” really gets lived out. In this Double Date with Mark and Jill we explore the power of perseverance in marriage!
Are you believing the best in each other? Love believes the best. In this Double Date with Mark and Jill, we dig into another part of the I Corinthian 13 “love chapter” in the Bible to explore what it looks like practically to apply God’s word to our marriage.
1st Corinthians is read at many weddings. Most of us long for a 1st Corinthians love but too often we want to receive it but don’t realize what it really looks like to give it. In this episode, Mark and Jill talk about what it is to love and to “bear all things.”
Talk about it:
What is one takeaway or personal challenge you have from this teaching?
How can I love you better? (When your spouse answers this, just listen and respond with, “Thank you for sharing that. I’ll try to be more aware of this in the future.”)
Think about it:
How do I respond when I’m frustrated? Is it a loving response?
To bear all things has the meaning to cover like a roof. A love that bears all things protects in the same way a roof protects a house. Do I protect my spouse?
Is my love steadfast or is it finicky?
Am I accepting God’s love so I can then share it with my spouse?
Notes and Quotes
1 Corinthians 13:7 ESV, “Love bears all things…”
We don’t have to “bear all things” alone. God will give us all we need to love, as He loves us.
Bearing in love many times is to love others who may not be loving us back.
I Corinthians 13:6 says this to us: “Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth.” What does that look like lived out in marriage? In this Double Date with Mark and Jill we are exploring how to make truth safe in marriage.
Talk about it:
What is one takeaway or personal challenge you have from this teaching?
Is there an unloving action I do that you you feel I justify or rationalize? (When your spouse answers this, just listen and then respond with, “Thank you for sharing that. I’ll try to be more aware in the future.”)
Think about it:
Are you possibly guilty of driving the hurt in your marriage?
Can you identify an unloving action that you rationalize is ok?
Notes and Quotes
1 Corinthians 13:6 ESV love does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth.
1 Corinthians 13:6 ERV Love is never happy when others do wrong, but it is always happy with the truth.
Love isn’t a feeling. It is a choice, an action, a decision that aligns with God’s Truth.
