Most of the time in marriage spouses are as different as night and day! In this Double Date with Mark and Jill, we are going to talk about how changing the way you think about those differences really can change your marriage!
Talk About It:
Have you been thinking of doing a certain project or activity? Could we talk about what you are thinking and then make a list so we are on the same page?
Is there one thing I could do that would make you feel like I accept your differences better?
Is there one part of life where you feel like I am always correcting you? (Be prepared for the answer, resist the urge to be defensive. Thank your spouse for sharing honestly with you.)
Has there ever been a time when you have caught yourself getting ready to comment on differences or correct me, when you’ve actually stopped yourself and bit your tongue?
Think About It:
Why do I think my way is the right way and only way?
Is correcting my spouse worth the conflict it might cause in our marriage? Is correction even needed at all?
How am I thinking about my spouses differences?
Which of the statements (below) am I most guilty of thinking or saying? How can I begin to change my thoughts and words?
Notes and Quotes:
Here are some commonly thought statements that need to change:
“My spouse does things wrong.” Change to: My spouse does things differently than I do.
“My spouse doesn’t value efficiency.” Change to: My spouse doesn’t value efficiency as much as I do and that’s ok.
“He/She just can’t get it right. They are like having another child.” Change to: My spouse is an adult and I will treat them as a teammate and a partner.
“My spouse says everything that comes to his/her mind.” Change to: My spouse is an external processor. That’s the way God made them!
“My spouse never let’s me know what they’re thinking.” Change to: My spouse is an internal processor. That’s the way God made them!