Have you ever found yourself harboring feelings of bitterness, discontentment or discouragement in your relationship with your spouse? Have you lost that feeling of being in this together, and feel like you’re pulling apart instead? In this Double Date with Mark and Jill, we are going to talk about how changing your mind can completely transform your marriage.


TRANSCRIPT: Marriage-Mindset.pdf

Talk About It

Do we make “always” or “never” statements to one another? How can we re-frame our language to reflect truth instead of exaggeration?

Mark and Jill pointed out many helpful Bible verses that addressed taking our thoughts captive. What tangible reminder can we create together to remind ourselves of these verses when we get stuck in our heads? (Idea: Create Scripture cards together and place them in strategic areas in your home as a good reminder!)

Think About It

Am I seeing my spouse through the lens of fear, pain, or trauma that I experienced in the past? Am I imposing what someone else did to me on my spouse and holding them guilty for the mistakes of others?

Is there a “feeding frenzy” going on in my mind that’s causing me to feel bitter towards my spouse?

Take some time to write down the thoughts that you have been rehearsing in your mind lately about your marriage, your spouse and yourself. Then, spend some time asking God to help you categorize these thoughts into two categories: truth and lies. Look over this list and ask God to help you to take your negative thoughts captive.

Notes and Quotes

Conflict starts with our thinking.

Emotions start with our thinking.

Self-Protection starts with our thinking.

Feelings of Love and Not Being In Love start with our thinking.

Feelings of Not Being Loved start with our thinking.

Feelings of Rejection start with our thinking.

Being Able to Apologize starts with our thinking.

Forgiveness starts with our thinking.

Assumptions start with our thinking.

“Don’t take the bait!” Jill Savage

“Most of us react to one another rather than respond to one another.” Jill Savage

“…our thoughts affect our feelings, our feelings affect our actions, and our actions affect our results.” Jill Savage

How To Retrain Your Brain:

  1. Become more aware of your thoughts.
  2. Renew your thoughts.
  3. Expect the negative thoughts to come (identify them, evaluate them, then let them go).
  4. Replace negative thoughts with life-giving thoughts.

Bible Verses Mentioned In This Double Date:

2 Corinthians 10:5 (KJV)

Proverbs 23:7

Matthew 6:21 (NLT)

Romans 8:6 (NLT)

Ephesians 4:23 (NLT)

Philippians 1:8 (NLT)