It’s good to switch communication up every once in a while. In today’s fast-paced, tech-focused world we have lost the fine art of written communication. Love letters aren’t written across the miles when we’re dating and postcards and notes aren’t sent when we’re apart.

This date isn’t a slice of time spent together but rather a point of connection over a longer space of time. It’s something to do for a few months and then evaluate if you’d like it to continue.

You’ll start with an empty journal or notebook. One of you will share something about yourself (see journal prompts for ideas below). It could be a few sentences or a page long. It always ends with a question for your spouse to answer. Then leave the journal and a pen on your spouse’s pillow for him or her to answer the question and write back.

Alternate the journal back and forth with written communication over a couple of months.

Important notes:

  • One of you may have many words and one may have less. Resist the temptation to assign meaning to either. For instance, someone with fewer words doesn’t care less. They just don’t “talk” as much.
  • Agree upon a minimum of three or four days between entries. This keeps the communication moving.
  • Share info and ask questions that helps you tune into each other’s heart.
  • Whoever starts shares about a topic and then asks their spouse to share about that topic in their response. The responding spouse gets to choose the next topic to talk about and then ask their spouse about.
  • You might print out the PDF of this date and tape it to the inside of the journal to have easy access to the journal prompts and the details of why this connection is valuable.

Journal Prompts:

One of the characteristics I love about you is…
Do you remember when we…? That’s one of my favorite memories!
One of the best memories I have of spending time with my grandfather is…
One of the places I struggle with fear is…
One of the ways you can pray for me right now is…
One of my favorite activities to do with you is…
When I first met you, I was most drawn to your…
If you and I could go anywhere together for three days, where would you want to go?
If there was one thing you could change about where we live, what would it be?
What’s one thing that’s weighing heavy on you right now?
What’s one trait you know about yourself that you’re trying to change?
One activity that I find most relaxing is…
If you could choose how to spend your next birthday, what would be the perfect birthday day?
When I was in high school, one of the biggest disappointments I experienced was…
My favorite food is…
My favorite restaurant is…
One of the ways I’d like to see us grow as a couple is…
One thing I’d like to do with you this summer is….

Pillow Journal Date PDF for print: Pillow-Journal-Date.pdf