In yesterday’s Marriage Monday over on Jill’s blog, we asked the question, “Are you looking at your marriage through a lens of lack?”  If you didn’t read it, you can find it here.  Too often we focus on each other’s “lack” rather than their “abundance.”

This Design-A-Date allows us to focus on what we appreciate about each other AND take the time to communicate those things.

Head to a coffee shop or snuggle up on the couch with a paper and pen.  Jot down all the things you appreciate about your spouse by finishing this sentence, “I’m thankful you ______________________ or “I’m thankful for __________________________.”  Once you’ve identified a list of 10 or 12 things you are thankful for, take time to communicate to each other what you’re thankful for and why you’re thankful for it (what you appreciate about it, how that character trait makes your life easier, etc.)  End with a one minute full body hug, just standing and holding each other for a minute.

Want to make this into something more permanent?

Here’s one Mark did for me a few years ago! He found a small treasure chest to put them in.

Pick up 2 bags of  black river rocks (available at Dollar Tree), 2 empty mason jars, a gold or silver sharpie marker and a black sharpie marker.

On the outside of the jar each of you will write with the black sharpie, “I’m Thankful for ________” and fill in your spouse’s name. Then write each thing you’re thankful for on each rock.   Take time to communicate verbally what you’re thankful for and why you’re thankful for it (what you appreciate about it, how that character trait makes your life easier, etc.)  As you share each appreciation, add it to the mason jar.  When you’re done, you each have a visual reminder of how you are appreciated to keep in your office, bedroom, or somewhere in your home!

Thankful.pdf