Mark and I had our first big argument on our honeymoon, and it wasn’t pretty! Since then, we have learned that conflict is not only inevitable, but necessary in a healthy marriage. Buckle your seat belts! In this Double Date with Mark and Jill, we are going to talk about how changing the way you think about conflict really can change your marriage!



TRANSCRIPT: Change-Your-Mind-About-Conflict.pdf

Talk About It:

Do we avoid conflict in our marriage instead of addressing it?

Do we approach conflict with aggression, blaming or shaming?

How can we create a safe space to have tough conversations together?

Think About It:

How was conflict addressed in my home of origin?

How has my upbringing impacted the way I view conflict?

Which of the three truths about conflict (listed below) resonated the most with me?

Notes and Quotes:

“We either blame others for our pain, or blame ourselves for other’s pain.”

Three Truths About Conflict

  • Conflict is natural and healthy.
  • Conflict is growth trying to happen.
  • Conflict deepens our intimacy.

How To Handle Conflict In a Healthy Way

Step #1: Adjust your thinking about conflict. Shift the negative dialogue from personalized thoughts to relational thoughts.

Step #2: Welcome conflict. Recognize that all relationships have conflict, and that conflict is going to show up.

Step #3: Approach conflict with safe conversations. (To watch a video about how to have a safe conversation, click on DIG DEEPER then on CORE CONTENT. You’ll find a video there about Safe Conversations.)

Step #4: Determine to believe the best about your spouse…especially in conflict.