Talk About It
When do you feel minimized by me? (Listen to understand — not to disagree!)
Are there other relationships where you feel minimized?
Do you struggle finding your voice in our relationship? Why?
Did you have a voice in the home and family in which you grew up?
Think About It
Am I an internal minimizer–minimizing my own thoughts and feelings?
Am I an external minimizer–minimizing the thoughts and feelings of others?
Am I both? If so, what situations cause me to minimize?
What negative self-talk or thinking keeps me from speaking up or motivates me to shut down my spouse?
Notes and Quotes
We don’t get to decide what’s important to our spouse. We get to discover what’s important to him or her.
When we minimize, we don’t value our spouse.
When we don’t minimize, we gain valuable perspective from our spouse.
You can move away from internally minimizing by being respectfully honest.
“Tell me more,” is a phrase that invites conversation and stops minimizing.
“That’s good to know” is another phrase that embraces what your spouse communicates.