Do you or your spouse find yourselves in a cycle of feeling less than or not enough? Or have either of you been in a pattern of judging and criticizing the other?
If you feel like your mind is heavy with accusations-toward yourself or toward your spouse, this month’s Double Date with Mark and Jill is for you! It’s a short 10-minute video with clear, practical steps for being on guard against the lies of the enemy. There is always an unseen battle going on. But by being aware, we can avoid taking the bait!
Talk About It
1. Share with your spouse: Which category do you tend to fall into in regards to these two types of accusations-shame (toward self) or judgment (toward others)?
2. What practical steps can we take to help each other not take the enemy’s bait?
Think About It
1. Do you think you tend to partner more in the accusations against yourself or others?
2. What’s one practical step you can take today to avoid listening to the enemy’s lies?
Notes and Quotes
• Accusations are a result of spiritual warfare in marriage and in all of our relationships.
• Scripture References:
“Then he showed me Joshua the high priest standing before the angel of the LORD, and Satan[a] standing at his right side to accuse him.” (Zechariah 3:1)
Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say:
“Now have come the salvation and the power
and the kingdom of our God,
and the authority of his Messiah.
For the accuser of our brothers and sisters,
who accuses them before our God day and night,
has been hurled down.” (Revelation 12:10)
“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. (Ephesians 6:12)
- The enemy is our accuser; he comes to kill, steal, and destroy. There are always battles going on for our relationships. Satan is the father of lies and there is no truth in him.
- When we listen to the enemy’s lies, we partner either in the accusations against us, or we partner in the accusations against others.
- Listening to the lies and accusations against ourselves fosters shame; feeling that we are defective or not enough. We move from thinking, “I did a bad thing” to “I am bad.”
- We have to counter shame with the truth of who we are in Christ.
- Listening to the accusations toward others will foster judgment. Judgment is fueled by those accusations and by our own pride. When we hyperfixate on the negative, it becomes a rationale for why we think we can behave a certain way toward others.
- Our Father has given us a new identity in Christ and wants us to say no to shame and judgment!
- We have to be aware that the enemy is trying to bait us. Bait always looks good to the prey that is about to be captured. And the enemy knows which type of bait we are most willing to take.
- When we become complacent and let our guard down, that is when accusations can take hold. The Lord wants us to be on guard.“Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.” 1 Peter 5:8-10
