This month’s Dive Deep Interview focuses on sex. Dr. Julianna Slattery leads Authentic Intimacy, a ministry devoted to educating others on God’s plan for sex and sexuality. The conversation was honest, frank, and just what you’ll need to move your marriage from where it is sexually to where you want it to be.
Dr. Juli is the author of several books including 25 Questions You’re Afraid to Ask About Love, Sex, and Intimacy, Passion Pursuit: What Kind of Love Are You Making?, Surprised By the Healer: Embracing Hope for Your Broken Story, and No More Headaches: Enjoying Sex and Intimacy in Marriage.
Talk About It
When could we go through the “Let’s Talk About Sex” questions in the Design-A-Date? Now? Another time? (Here is a PDF of those questions: Lets-Talk-About-Sex-Date-Night-PDF.pdf )
Is there a marriage book or a Christian sex book we could read aloud together? (Mark and Jill’s recommendations: any of Dr. Juli Slattery’s books listed above, Is There Really Sex After Kids? by Jill Savage. Sheet Music by Dr. Kevin Leman. )
Sex is a gift from God…have we really fully opened it?
Do we need to make sex more of a priority?
Is scheduling sex something we ought to consider?
Is there a code word we could use? Could we give the lesser desire person 24 hours to initiate after we use the code word?
Which one of us needs the mental and physical prep time?
Do we need to think outside the intercourse box?
Do we need to think outside the “Date Night” box? Should we consider “Date Mornings” or “Date Afternoons?”
Think About It
Do I associate sex with pain (either emotional or physical)? Do I need to get help with that?
Is there a way my unrealistic expectations are hurting our sex life?
Do I need to make sex more of a priority? Address a wound in my heart? Learning more about it? Reading about it in the Bible?
Do I have great sensitivity to my spouse’s sexual needs?
Quotes and Notes
“Sex is never just sex. It’s about what we believe about God. It’s about what we believe about love.” Dr. Slattery
“Most of the time when people are dealing with sexual issues, the underlying root issues have nothing to do with sex.” Jill Savage
“Every sexual issue is also a spiritual issue.” Dr. Slattery
“Sex is important because it’s a part of a physical picture of God’s covenant love with us.” Dr. Slattery
“Sex is celebrating the promise a couple has made to each other.” Dr. Slattery
“Sexuality in marriage is one of the most tangible tests of our love for each other.” Dr. Slattery
You’re naturally incompatible when you get married. The bedroom is a love laboratory where empathy, patience, mercy, communication, and self-control is lived out.
“Conversations about sex outside the bedroom are awkward but rewarding.” Mark Savage