In today’s Deep Dive Interview, Mark and Jill sit down with Shaunti Feldhahn and Dr. Michael Sytsma to discuss their new book, Secrets of Sex and Marriage: 8 Surprises that Make all the Difference. Shaunti is a social researcher with an analytical background, while Dr. Sytsma is an ordained minister, professional counselor, and a sex therapist. Together, with their unique approaches, they have tackled the topic and written this book which gives straight forward, practical advice, delivered with biblical truth.
Talk About It:
Have we allowed the “Hollywood Version” to bring in any unrealistic expectations in our marriage or sex relationship?
What does it take to woo you (get you engaged) even when you’re not hungry for it?
Can we identify what our relationship challenges are that may be hindering sex from happening? i.e. communication issues, energy management, etc.
Think About It:
Jill mentioned the phrase “committing assumicide” (too many assumptions leading to negative results). In what areas do I need to stop committing assumicide in our marriage?
Am I the initiating desire or the receptive desire? What about my spouse? What can I do to better accommodate this?
Notes and Quotes:
Initiating Desire- Feel desire first and do something about it
Receptive Desire- Make a decision to get involved sexually and eventually feelings of desire follow
Dr. Sytsma and Shaunti Feldhahn’s joint platform with free resources:
“Invite, don’t indict” -Jill Savage
“Couples are way closer than what they think they are” -Dr. Michael Sytsma