Have you heard that marriage is “50/50?” Or maybe you’ve heard that it’s “100/100!” Well, we think it is “70/30.” Check out our latest Double Date with Mark and Jill to learn more.
Talk About It
1. Does it feel like we are each giving 70% to individual growth and 30% to couple growth? Why or why not?
2. Which story of personal growth that was shared do you relate to more-Mark’s or Jill’s?
Think About It
1. What can I do to make sure I am prioritizing my individual growth?
2. What is a personal growth step that I can make that will be helpful to my marriage?
Notes and Quotes
- Marriage is really 70/30. This means 70% individual personal growth and 30% couple growth.
- The emphasis is on individual growth. When you really strive for individual growth, it impacts your couple growth as well! Couples need to grow together too, but the emphasis needs to be on individual growth first.
- When we hear suggestions or concepts, we need to think, “how can I apply this to me?” and not, “how can we apply this to us?” (Or, “I hope my spouse is listening!”)
- It’s ok to make a request of our spouse or bring their attention to an area where we’d like to see them grow, but we also need to think about what we are bringing to the relationship individually.
- When each partner steps up and does their 70%, it makes the 30% so much easier. We are bringing our own best self to the relationship.
- Personal growth reduces conflict, increases connection, and helps make our marriage better!