The Kindness Challenge

Feb 4, 2022

The Bible tells us that love is patient and kind. Too often we rationalize why it’s okay for us to be impatient and unkind due to the circumstances we’re navigating. In this short Double Date with Mark and Jill we explore the connection that patience and kindness have to love.

Talk about it:

What is one takeaway or personal challenge you have from this teaching on patience and kindness?

If I rated myself on patience in our marriage, on a scale of 1-10 with 1 being not patient at all and 10 being very patient, I would rate myself a __________.

If you rated me on patience in our marriage, on a scale of 1-10 with 1 being not patient at all and 10 being very patient, what would you rate me? (Be prepared to receive this feedback openly and with humility.)

If I rated myself on kindness in our marriage, on a scale of 1-10 with 1 being not kind at all and 10 being very kind, I would rate myself a __________.

If you rated me on kindness in our marriage, on a scale of 1-10 with 1 being not patient at all and 10 being very kind, what would you rate me? (Be prepared to receive this feedback openly and with humility.)

Think about it:

Patience and kindness are a fruit of the Spirit and a reflection of our love. If I’m not patient and kind, I am not loving. How well am I loving my spouse through patience and kindness?

How am I doing accepting my spouse’s differences as a way of expressing love to him/her?

Is it evident to my spouse that God is leading my heart or is it more evident that my emotions are leading my heart?

Notes and Quotes

If we aren’t accepting our spouse’s differences it leads to unkindness. This is fueled by our thinking.

We can learn to express our anger, frustration, and hurt with the fruits of the Spirit.

Patience and kindness are my responsibility, and are not based upon the good or bad actions of another person.

Process for untangling anger: 1) express anger to God, 2) Sort through my anger and emotion in order to discover why I’m angry (possibly with the help of another person, counselor, or coach), 3) Untangle my anger and emotions with my God Tools (forgiveness, grace, and acceptance), and ask for a safe conversation with my spouse.

Galatians 5:22-23 NLT  “But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.”

1 Corinthians 13:4 NLT “Love is patient and kind…”

Recommendation:
The Kindness Challenge by Shaunti Feldhahn

Are You Loving on the Inside and the Outside?

Jan 26, 2022

Talk about it:

Concerning 1 Corinthians 13:4-11, I feel I need to work on…
The part of this video that caught my attention was…

Think about it:

Are my thoughts about love realistic and aligned to what God says about it?
Am I loving on the inside as well as the outside? Do my attitudes and actions reflect love?

Notes and Quotes:

I Corinthians 13:4-8 and 11 ESV ⁴ Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant ⁵ or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; ⁶ it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. ⁸ Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away…¹¹ When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.

What we think impacts our actions.

The feelings of love, inside a marriage, come and go and this is normal. They ebb and flow with life and relationship.

Recommendations:
Love Like You Mean It Dive Deep Interview with Bob Lepine
The God Tools Double Date with Mark and Jill