I Corinthians 13:5 tells us that love does not insist on its own way. What does that look like lived out? Join us as we consider if our love listens well.
What is one takeaway or personal challenge you have from this teaching?
Have you ever been around a person who doesn’t listen well? How did that make you feel?
Is there a time you feel I’m not listening to you? (When your spouse answers this, just listen and then respond with, “Thank you for sharing that. I’ll try to be more aware in the future.”)
Think about it:
How do I respond when life doesn’t roll out as I expected?
What are my deeper thoughts and feelings as I begin to demand my own way? Is fear a part of that?
Notes and Quotes
1 Corinthians 13:5 ESV, “Love does not insist on its own way…”
God’s word says we are not loving when we insist upon our own way.
The God Tool of Acceptance and the God Tool of Humility are tools we need to use to not insist on our way. (Learn more about God-Tools here.)
The theme of our marriage, since we are being honest, has been “grow up.” It’s hard to admit immaturity, but this is absolutely necessary for growth. 1 Corinthians 13:11 speaks to this idea of growing up. Join Mark and Jill in this conversation, When Love Grows Up.
Talk about it:
What is one takeaway or personal challenge you have from this teaching?
Is there some area of life you’d like for us to be more mature as a couple? What’s the next step we could take to start that rolling?
Talk about ways you could personally grow up in your love.
Think about it:
Is my love mature or not? How would you describe your love?
Are you loving as Christ loves us?
Read 1 Corinthians 13:4-11 and highlight where you are challenged to love.
Notes and Quotes:
1 Corinthians 13:11 ESV “When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.”
We are given detailed instructions on growing up in love and now we are directed to grow up!
Hope empowers us while hopelessness robs us of joy and wanes our commitment. In this Double Date with Mark and Jill, they dig into the hopelessness that fueled Mark’s unfaithfulness and connect the dots between hope and love.
I Corinthians 13:5 tells us love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful. What does that look like lived out? Join us as we consider if we are truly loving well.
Talk about it:
What is one takeaway or personal challenge you have from this teaching?
Think about a time when you’ve been around a person who didn’t listen to you or was irritable (other than your spouse.) Share how that made you feel.
Is there a time you feel I’m not listening well? When your spouse answers this, just listen and then respond with, “Thank you for sharing that. I’ll try to be more aware in the future.”
Think about it:
Are you hoarding or ruminating on how your spouse has disappointed you or hurt you?
How would you describe your love and actions towards your spouse?
Do you need to get time with God to clean your heart up by forgiving those who have disappointmented you or hurt you?
Notes and Quotes
1 Corinthians 13:5 ESV, “Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful.”
Love keeps no records of wrong (on paper or in our mind).
We must keep short accounts.
Forgiveness is the most under-utilized tool in the toolbox. It untangles our hurts and our hearts with God first.
What is one takeaway or personal challenge you have from this teaching?
Have you ever been around a rude person? How did that make you feel?
Is there a time you feel I’m rude to you? (When your spouse answers this, just listen and then respond with, “Thank you for sharing that. I’ll try to be more aware in the future.”
Think about it:
What are your negative thoughts regarding your spouse? How do these thoughts influence your actions?
Below is a list of words that make up rudeness. talk to your spouse about how you have used these actions inside your marriage?
Are you aware of any time you have been rude within your marriage? If so, have you already done so, or, are you ready to ask forgiveness for this?
Notes and Quotes
1 Corinthians 13:4-5 ESV love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogantor rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful
Sometimes rudeness comes out in ways we may not realize:
— Envy refers to comparison and coveting or desire for that which we don’t have or possess. In marriage, we can compare to marriages we see, or spouses we see, or what we assume in our mind.
— Boast refers to talking about self with excessive pride and self-satisfaction about one’s achievements, possessions, or abilities. In marriage, boasting fuels pride.
— Arrrogant refers to an exaggerated sense of one’s own importance or abilities.
— Rude refers to one speaking and acting impolite, abrupt, or using hurtful words, actions, and attitudes towards others.
— Pride refers to insisting on its own way.
— Irritable refers to being short, frustrated, angry.
— Resentful refers to feeling or expressing bitterness or indignation and holding one hostage to our resentment.
We compare our own marriage or spouse, to what we see or imagine, and begin to tell ourselves the story that our marriage or spouse doesn’t measure up to what we see or imagine, and we then hold our marriage or spouse hostage to this story. When we do this we are not loving.
