Rupture and Repair

Do you find yourself navigating conflict and feeling like there’s not any closure or healing for your relationship? In this Double Date with Mark and Jill, we talk about how to have conflict in a healthy way and how to find closure when conflict happens.

Talk about it:

What’s the hardest part about our conflict for you?

What could I do to help make conflict better for you?

Think about it:

What do I bring to conflict that isn’t helpful?

How do I do at repairing? How do I do at repairing even when I feel my spouse is more wrong than I am?

Notes and Quotes:

Own what you brought to the party!

Don’t ever have rupture without repair.

Dr. Gary Chapman: Love Is A Choice

Most of the time our marriage relationship starts off with warm, tingly feelings, but those initial feelings eventually wear off. What do you do when the tingly feeling of love is not felt towards your spouse anymore? Love is more than a feeling, it is a choice. In this Dive Deep Interview, Dr. Gary Chapman offers a practical conversation on how we can choose to love our spouse (even when it’s hard) through serving with a Christ-like attitude.

Talk About It:

Take the 5 love languages quiz here, if you haven’t already:

1.What is a gesture of love that would be meaningful to you, specific to your primary language?
2. Tell me about a time in your life when someone served you in love even though it may have been hard for them? How did that make you feel? Did that experience influence you to love?

Think About It:

1. In what area can I stop focusing on the differences and instead just allow my spouse to be who they are?
2. Have I had a heart of servanthood toward my spouse lately?
3. What interruptions in my life could actually be an opportunity to show love?

Notes and Quotes:

“If we choose the attitude of love, God will give us the ability to speak love, even to a spouse that’s not loving us.” -Gary Chapman

3 Question’s that changed Dr. Chapmans marriage:
1. What can I do to help you?
2. How can I make your life easier?
3. How can I be a better spouse?

Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. Romans 5:5

Link To Dr. Chapmans’ new book Love is A Choice:

The 5 Love Languages:
1. Words of Affirmation
2. Acts of Service
3. Gifts
4. Quality Time
5. Physical Touch

1st Quarter Q&A 2022–Your Questions Answered

In this Q&A, Mark and Jill share a real-life difficult day and how they used their God-tools to stay steady and not have unnecessary conflict. They also answered questions about:

  • personal responsibility in marriage
  • how to stop petty arguments
  • what choosing love looks like on a daily basis
  • how to handle hard conversations with a spouse who isn’t willing to have safe conversations
  • and more!

3rd Quarter Q&A 2022–Your Questions Answered!

Our LIVE Q&A’s are some of our favorite parts of hanging out with you! In this Q&A we talked about:

  • how to keep your heart engaged when your spouse is not
  • spiritual intimacy–what it is and how to make it happen
  • what to do when your spouse’s habits bug you
  • and a variety of other topics we ventured into!

And yes, Mark is back to wearing an eye patch. He still has one more eye surgery (hopefully in September) to finish up his journey with the detached/torn retina in his right eye. He’s staying steady and hanging in there! So in this video you get “Pirate Mark!” 😉

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