Jun 28, 2023
This Dive Deep Interview features a candid conversation about alcohol and the effects it can have on your life. Mark and Jill sit down with Matt and Amy as they share their personal story as it relates to alcohol usage in their own life. They had underestimated how alcohol was affecting their marriage and they have now found freedom from alcohol and enjoy helping others do the same.
Talk About It:
-Amy talked about how she was rationalizing and minimizing her alcohol usage. Is there any habit in your life that you are rationalizing or minimizing?
-How does this interview affect any of the beliefs you have had surrounding alcohol?
Think About It:
-Have I truly learned the power of decision? What thinking patterns in my life do I need to take control of?
-In my life, what substance/activity do I turn to for relaxation and unwinding?
Notes and Quotes:
“Willpower can get you to a certain point but it’s not going to take you for the long haul” -Amy Edwards
Link to Amy’s website:
https://www.joyontheotherside.com/
May 26, 2023
In today’s Deep Dive Interview, Mark and Jill sit down with Shaunti Feldhahn and Dr. Michael Sytsma to discuss their new book, Secrets of Sex and Marriage: 8 Surprises that Make all the Difference. Shaunti is a social researcher with an analytical background, while Dr. Sytsma is an ordained minister, professional counselor, and a sex therapist. Together, with their unique approaches, they have tackled the topic and written this book which gives straight forward, practical advice, delivered with biblical truth.
Talk About It:
Have we allowed the “Hollywood Version” to bring in any unrealistic expectations in our marriage or sex relationship?
What does it take to woo you (get you engaged) even when you’re not hungry for it?
Can we identify what our relationship challenges are that may be hindering sex from happening? i.e. communication issues, energy management, etc.
Think About It:
Jill mentioned the phrase “committing assumicide” (too many assumptions leading to negative results). In what areas do I need to stop committing assumicide in our marriage?
Am I the initiating desire or the receptive desire? What about my spouse? What can I do to better accommodate this?
Notes and Quotes:
Initiating Desire- Feel desire first and do something about it
Receptive Desire- Make a decision to get involved sexually and eventually feelings of desire follow
Dr. Sytsma and Shaunti Feldhahn’s joint platform with free resources:
https://secretsofsexandmarriage.com/
“Invite, don’t indict” -Jill Savage
“Couples are way closer than what they think they are” -Dr. Michael Sytsma
Apr 17, 2023
Most of the time our marriage relationship starts off with warm, tingly feelings, but those initial feelings eventually wear off. What do you do when the tingly feeling of love is not felt towards your spouse anymore? Love is more than a feeling, it is a choice. In this Dive Deep Interview, Dr. Gary Chapman offers a practical conversation on how we can choose to love our spouse (even when it’s hard) through serving with a Christ-like attitude.
Talk About It:
Take the 5 love languages quiz here, if you haven’t already: https://5lovelanguages.com/
1.What is a gesture of love that would be meaningful to you, specific to your primary language?
2. Tell me about a time in your life when someone served you in love even though it may have been hard for them? How did that make you feel? Did that experience influence you to love?
Think About It:
1. In what area can I stop focusing on the differences and instead just allow my spouse to be who they are?
2. Have I had a heart of servanthood toward my spouse lately?
3. What interruptions in my life could actually be an opportunity to show love?
Notes and Quotes:
“If we choose the attitude of love, God will give us the ability to speak love, even to a spouse that’s not loving us.” -Gary Chapman
3 Question’s that changed Dr. Chapmans marriage:
1. What can I do to help you?
2. How can I make your life easier?
3. How can I be a better spouse?
Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. Romans 5:5
Link To Dr. Chapmans’ new book Love is A Choice:
https://5lovelanguages.com/store/love-is-a-choice
The 5 Love Languages:
1. Words of Affirmation
2. Acts of Service
3. Gifts
4. Quality Time
5. Physical Touch
Mar 15, 2023
Her betrayal and resulting pregnancy caused so much pain in their marriage. But God shows up and moves this couple into a brand new direction. It was unexpected with huge twists and turns. Join Jill and Mark in this robust conversation with Brent and Stacey Locey as we hear how God worked to redeem a total mess to glorify Himself and His purposes. So often we want to run from pain, but when we run toward it, we can experience tremendous growth and transformation.
Talk about it:
What parts of this conversation impacted you most?
How would we describe our marriage story?
Think about it:
Brent and Stacey talked about how they had to start focusing on their marriage. How are you focusing on your marriage? Where do you need to readjust your priorities?
Is God my first priority?
Brent and Stacey emphasized their decision to hit the reset button on every aspect of their relationship. Do you need to hit the reset button and what would that look like for you and what you bring to your marriage?
Notes and Quotes
“How long have you been married? Our true marriage is different from our first wedding ceremony. We had a big party on June 12, 2004 that was called a wedding. We didn’t become married until 2010. That was when we allowed God to be the 3rd person in our marriage, and we started following Him.”
“We are a hockey family. Once we accepted and operated that we are a team, we began to move forward and focus on life together.”
“The day that I married Brent I loved him the least. I love him now more than ever.”
Feb 15, 2023
If there’s any book that’s changed our marriage, it’s How We Love by Milan and Kay Yerkovich. We read it in the early days of Mark and Jill 2.0 and it’s now a resource we use in our marriage coaching.
The home we grew up in helped set our Love Styles in place (these are very different from Love Languages). Love Styles are the relational relating patterns we learned in our childhood that we unknowingly carry into marriage. Understanding how your Love Style does a dance with your spouse’s Love Style can give great insight into recurring challenges in your marriage.
Talk About It
Take the Love Style Quiz if you haven’t already. You can find it here.
What’s our Core Pattern? (You can find it here after you know your Love Styles)
Do you remember being comforted in your home of origin?
Think About It
Read more about your Love Style here.
What was a strength you received from your family of origin?
What’s something you learned in your family of origin that you might need to re-learn in a healthier way as an adult?
Notes and Quotes
Want to pick up a copy of How We Love? You can find it here!
